My (Dis)Organized Life


National Art Co. NY (circa 1919)

In my professional life and when it comes to my home office, I am the matriarch of organization. I can put my hands on a piece of paper from years prior or find a snippet of code among a zillion lines. When my coworkers have exhausted all of their seek-and-find technology, they will come to me:

  • Do you remember that invoice with the number 173 on it from last year?
    • Yup, I can find it.
  • Where’s that code that you wrote when you first started that had something to do with personnel?
    • Found that too.

But for you, readers of this blog, in just a brief moment, I’m going to show you the complete disorder that is My Brain.  I have a feeling that there are many of us walking around, looking totally pulled together, that have chaos in our brains.  There are times when the ideas are spinning so far out of control that I must stop everything I’m doing and write the chaos down.

Once, my husband was sitting quietly (as he often does), and I wondered about the myriad thoughts percolating in his head. So I asked him,

“What do you think about when you are so quiet?”

“Think about?”

He clearly was puzzled, so I pushed. “Yeah, what do you think about? What’s going through your brain right now?”

He tilted his head slightly up and to the left, brow furrowed as he considered. Then the answer came: “music is playing.”

nonsense yin yang

Really?!? How unfair is that.  He listens to daily Tower of Power playlists and I’m stuck with an unending dialogue of ideas, few of which are any good. Yet, I write them down, because at the time they are enlightening, intriguing, and I know that the world must receive these precious pearls of wisdom. A day later I cannot read most of what is written, and what I can read makes no sense.

To truly understand what I’m talking about, I’m going to share what is really going on in My Brain when I’m quiet.

Welcome to My Brain – 2/20 Journal Entry 

What has this week been like?  Aargh! That’s the only word I have.  It wasn’t horrible I guess, if you like invasive procedures, x-rays and doctor’s offices, like to have your child tell you aren’t needed, like having ten tons of snow dumped on you, and like living in a house that smells like wet dog.

I don’t know what to write about. What do people want to read? I am so sick of playing Candy Crush, yet it is just there calling, calling, calling.  Is that what an addiction feels like? Only when I’m done with CC,  I’ve just wasted my time, I don’t believe I’ve damaged my brain cells.

Or have I?


I think I’ll write about The Anonymous People and how silence and anonymity is trapping millions of people alone with their disease. Or maybe I’ll write about mental illness and what it feels like to be a family member of a person with a mental illness. But I can’t write about mental illness, because it invades another’s privacy.

    And now I’m back to thinking that anonymity breeds loneliness.

Really though, I should scrap it all and just get back to writing my novel. I’m putting it off and that’s a bad place to be. I printed it. It’s ready for revision. But instead I have read three books and three more are in progress. I’ll write my blogs and I’ll ignore my novel. I’ll comment on blogs and I’ll write about not writing and I’ll read about not writing.

And then I’ll kick myself for not writing.

There you go:  welcome to My Brain. Frankly, I kind of like it. I find my thoughts entertaining and occasionally inspirational.

Here’s the problem: I have decided that starting today, I am going to work on my novel. But I didn’t want to leave you with a half-compiled blog. So in these last few moments of avoiding my work, I decided to go through the WordPress blogs that I have ‘Liked’ and share some links with you. Note – this is where my organization comes in – – strange but true, I have a catalog of blogs I like.

Here are blogs I have ‘liked’ and the reason why.  I hope that you enjoy them too!

And then there are the writer’s blogs; lots and lots of writers blogs. When I read the articles on these sites, I can pretend I’m working on my craft.

Please help me avoid working on my novel and send me your favorite blogger’s URLS!

About Barbara Rath

Enjoy reading, writing, hiking, hangin' with family, friends and my dogs, watching soccer (Go Breakers), baseball, football. Favorite foods are coffee, chocolate, and artichokes. Always thinking of new stuff to do and then not doing it.
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1 Response to My (Dis)Organized Life

  1. Don Charisma says:

    Lovely share Barbara, thanks … I swing both ways, sometimes I have the conversations and thoughts, sometimes the music plays … ipod I find useful for encouraging the music to play, along with walking by the sea …

    Warm regards


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